Perspective

I sit here trying to make sense of all that is going on in my head, in my heart, and in the world around me. It seems as though it is all escalating toward one grand thing that I don’t even yet know. And for the life of me, I can’t even seem to wrap my head around it. Blame it on the season of Resolutions if you will, but what has been stirring in me over the past few months, I am certain, is something far greater, and deeper, and long-lasting than a simple New Year’s Resolution. It comes from something beyond myself, and reaches to the depths of my soul. It is the age-old question that I think everyone must grapple with, on some level, during their existence here on earth, however long or short it may be. Namely, Why am I here? But, for me, this question goes beyond that of the reason for human existence, as I know Who is behind the complexity of this thing we call life. It reaches farther still to beg the question, What am I doing with my one and only life? It seems I have been bombarded lately with sermons, songs, signs – all compelling me to ask, “How am I making this life matter? How am I making a difference?” It has hit harder now than ever before, I think, through a variety of different mediums: I only have one shot at this life. And there are no guarantees on its length; I may have 100 years left, or maybe only one. Am I making a difference in this world? Do the things that I am doing now even matter in the grand scheme of things?

I sat at a funeral today of a girl, just 18 years old, who has lived her entire life with the reality that she would likely not get to live a long life. She’s had to face the fact that, barring a miracle, she would never get to walk down the aisle, have kids, grow old with the love of her life – all these things that girls dream about from the time they are little, all things that we think everyone should live long enough to have the chance to do. And as I sat there, in a room filled with people from all over who had come to honor her life, I heard testimony after testimony about how this girl never complained about the cards she had been dealt in life, painful as they were. Not only did she not complain, but she actively and intentionally made a difference in the lives of people everywhere she went. Countless lives, both people she knew and those she’d never met, have been profoundly impacted by the life of this one girl who, despite her terminal circumstances, saw and responded to Something bigger than herself.

I can’t leave an experience like that and not wonder what people would say about me if my life were over tomorrow. Did I make a difference at all? How many opportunities I have missed! I have this overwhelming feeling that I haven’t even yet begun to live my life. There’s so much I want to do, so much I want to say, yet, I don’t even know where to begin. I long for my life to have just one ounce of the impact that Myka’s short 18 years had. If there’s one thing I have learned from the life of Myka Glennie, it is this: Live. Live every day as if it’s your last. Make every moment count, every breath. Make a conscious effort not to let a single opportunity to make a difference in anyone’s life pass you by. As for me, I can only hope and pray for the strength, determination, and faith that this girl had to not waste another second of this gift of life.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, And sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, So that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Romans 12:1-3